Monday, June 4, 2007
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEE!!!
Yep - that's how old I turned at 0956 local time today. I don't have major issues about entering my 30's... ok, maybe I'm lying but I think maybe I'm just overthinking the whole 30's bit.
I had a great dinner at home with famliy last night. It's just nice being around the people you'd choose to be with in a nuclear bomb shelter. I felt very thankful to have them around. And making sure that everyone was eating well was a good distraction from thinking about leaving my 20's. But they still crept in as I lay in bed last night.
- I never envisioned my life beyond my 20s. As a small kid, I wanted to be a big kid. As a big kid, I wanted to be a teenager. As a teenager, I wanted to be a 20-something. And that's it!
- I am exactly the age my dad and favorite aunt were when I was born. I don't feel anywhere near as "grown up" as the adults seemed when I was a kid.
- Even if I have a lot of crappy responsibilities to remind me that I AM a grown up, I don't feel grown up. Then again, being an adult sucks in so many ways, there's a part of me that wants to stay young... I know, too late.
- It is time to move out of my parents' house.
- I always thought I'd be done having all the kids I wanted by the time I was 30. (I married at 24...)
- Where the hell does the time go?
- What if there's nothing fun and exciting to discover anymore?
In spite of all my little anxieties, I'm not really panicking about having to leave my 20's behind. Getting a bit sentimental maybe. All my friends swear, turning 30 is the best thing that could possible happen to a girl. I believe that to be true. DH and I were out one night last week and the place we were at was dripping with these painfully self-conscious 20 somethings. They were wearing what they perhaps thought were trendy outfits but they looked so uncomfortable in them - and in their own skin. I definitely wouldn't want to stay at THAT stage of my life.
So with a bittersweet kiss I bid my 20s farewell. I'm thankful for all the incredible blessings in my life. And (with a hefty push), I look forward to what the 30s may hold. Happy Birthday to meeeeee!!!