It's hard to believe I'm about to put this post together. I never really thought how I'd go about it but I guess I can start with the facts...
May 29th: LMP
July 2nd: While in the middle of the thrills and spills of Space Mountain in HK Disneyland this thought came loud and clear in my mind, "What the hell are you doing on this insane roller coaster when you might be pregnant??" Then another voice from within said, "Yah right! Just smile with some poise for the damn photo they always take at the end".
July 3rd (still in HK): I dreamt that my cousin (who's also my BFF) was with me in HK and I told her I needed to take an EPT. So I did and the darn stick came out positive. And next thing I know, there's a huge picture of the BFP stick on the side of the truck for one and all to see. Nice dream.
July 11th: Back in Manila. Feeling all premenstrual and wanting to get AF out of the way, I remembered how she likes to arrive mere hours after I take an EPT. So I took one. Waited for my pee to bleed through the strip - negative. I washed my hands and glanced at the stick again like 60 seconds later. This time it had a faint, faint but oh-so-visible second line. I examined the darn thing till I got crossed eyed. DH wasn't home and I was about to burst with excitement/anxiety at this development but I managed to text my OB. She said it was most likely indicative of a very early pregnancy and I should come in for an u/s the next day.
July 12th: U/s showed a corpus luteum on my left ovary (the super polycystic one! the Av.andia must've worked!), a very thick uterine lining and NOTHING ELSE. Dr. T said, "It's either very, very early or..." "Or I'm about to get my period, right?", I finished for her. Yes, that was possible, she had to admit. But she ordered an HCG blood test and me to come back in a week for another u/s.
July 13th: DH's birthday. We want to tell the world at his party (and the sneaky bugger DID tell SOME of his friends that night!) but we don't make a big deal out of it. Friends were asking me why I wasn't drinking. Said alcohol was incompatible with my fertility meds - not a lie.
July 18th: HCG results come in. I was at 600+. Very good sign but Dr. T wants me to wait till Monday - 10 days from the last u/s - before I come in for another one.
July 23rd: U/s shows a sac and fetal structure at 6wks plus. NO HEARTBEAT. Don't worry they said, that's perfectly normal at this stage. I'm like, "So I just come back in a few days?" Reply, "Uh no, let's wait two weeks to be sure". TWO WEEKS?? Were these people insane?? Do they know what it's like to wait in uncertainty?? Ugh! Decided to tell my folks and my brother but not Tarb. Explained the situation. Told them to TRY to not get too excited. Oh, but DH told Tarb while I was at work, "I think Mommy's pregnant. You better just pray extra hard now ok?" (Never ever tell this man your secrets!!)
July 24th - August 5th: My body plays tricks on me. One day totally nauseous, the next just fine. My mind joins in the fun and asks, "Are my HCG levels rising? How come I feel ok? Oh, they must be rising, I'm such a lazy slob... But you're always lazy and oversleeping..."
August 6th: Day of u/s #3! Good news! Finally! The real deal! It measured 7wks4days. Cardiac rate: 154 beats per minute. DH cheers out loud, asks Dr. T if it's OK to tell people now and LEAVES THE ROOM to make phone calls while I'm still stirupped and being wanded on the table! I forgave him.
And that's how I came to find out and confirm that I was pregnant.
I can't put into words how I feel. I was and am still elated but I know I'm still somehow cautious despite all the excitement and hope I have. I only told members of our extended family first and a very few close friends. It's also taken me a while to blog about it. I guess, I'm taking it all in and just trying to live with a sort of controlled excitement. I feel like, I waited quite I while for this - is it for real? I was so lucky in my pregnancy with Tarb - no complications. Will I be as fortunate this time? When I found out I was pregnant with Tarb, I text messaged practically every number on my phone!!
Oh and Tarb was the sweetest. We sat her down and told her the news soon as we got home from the u/s. We asked her, "what is the thing you most want in the world?" "A fairy pen and a fairy notebook!" "No", we said, "even more than that!" "A SHINY, PINK fairy pen and notebook!" So DH just came out with it and Tarb all wide-eyed, flashed the biggest smile and said, "Oh I will burp it!"
Since then, she's keeps examining my belly button and trying to see inside. She also asks why my stomach isn't big yet. Then one morning, she woke up, climbed into our bed as I was still sleeping and with out trying to wake me up, lifted my nightie and kissed my belly. Love her!
I get the feeling that Dr. T is being very careful with this pregnancy. For one thing, she put me on progesterone for the next few weeks. She said this was because I was on Av.andia which I now had to stop since we confirmed a viable fetus BUT stopping it suddenly could create a hormone imbalance so I need the progesterone 3x daily. She also told me to stop the gym for now. The most high impact I can go is swimming which I hate and never do as exercise. With Tarb, there were no hormone supplements and the only thing stopping me from going to the gym was laziness.
So that's me for now. I just want to thank all of you for all the supportive things you've posted on here the past few months. So many of my prayers have been answered this year. I feel truly blessed. And I'm thinking of you guys - Adrienne and SaraS-P who are pretty much where I am. But most of all Baby Blues who is hanging in there in spite of all the doubts and uncertainty hounding her at this time. If you haven't already, send her all your love.
Thanks for everything, ladies. I'll be reading your blogs and updating you...