Had dinner with some extended family members last night. And they came up with some real gems about how to get over the failure to produce Tarb #2. Some lines are old and worn out, others more amusing. I didn't get upset with them. They all truly meant well and I love them for it. But as they were talking, I smiled, nodded and allowed myself a nice long, mental sigh.
Here's what they came up with:
- You should relax.
- Don't try so hard.
- Just don't think about it and you'll get pregnant.
- You need to take a vacation where it's quiet and the air is clean.
- Well, you should be thankful with the one that you have.
- How did you manage to have Tarb then?
- I have a really strong novena you can pray. It really works they say.
- If your grandmother were alive, she'd tell you not to torture yourself taking all that medication.
- Both of you should just eat durian. (That's an "exotic" tropical fruit, hard and spikey on the outside, creamy and extremely pungent on the inside. Good thing I actually like it). So and so didn't have kids for the longest time, when she and her husband started eating the stuff, they had five kids in a row.
- It will come.
- God's spacing it out so Tarb can enjoy her time as the apple of everyone's eye.
If there's one thing I hate hearing, it's the "you should be thankful for the one that you have". Is there anyone who knows me that actually thinks I take my daughter FOR GRANTED?? That I'm so unimpressed with the person she is that I just want another Tarb because it's like I'm trying to complete a tea set? I guess they meant, you've already been blessed... Thank you, like I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
I'm on CD 25 and feel nothing that even hints at a pregnancy. Had some back pain while riding the car yesterday. That's like AF sending you a letter to say she'll be over in the next week or so. Then, there were bouts of pain/cramps where I imagine my ovaries to be. There's also a wee bit of constipation. What I am constantly on the lookout for is sore, sore boobs - and I haven't had those in like a million years (obviously). I mean, we all get sore-ish boobs when AF is on the way but pregnancy sore boobs are like nothing I've ever experienced before. That's the only thing that'd make me REALLY stop and think, could it be...?
I only started taking Met just over a week ago. And so far I've only managed to take it like every other day. Yah, like that's really gonna help make the extra follicles in my left ovary disappear.
I have this rather stupid thought/question about women who are readily able to produce more than one child. If a woman has two kids or more, doesn't that make her more of a mother than me (because she has more kids and I only have one)? Ok, your collective eyeballs are rolling, I can feel it but seriously. A woman who has more than one kid, has more to deal with, gains more experience and is therefore more of a mom, right? Not that that makes me less of a woman (just as IF should not diminish one's sense of womanhood), just less of a mom? Gee, can you tell it bothers me when people have more (of anything) than me? Ok, raise your hand if you're feeling extra insecure this weekend... (Me! Me! Me!)
Sorry for the rambling, people... I hope to produce something more coherent and positive next week!
Cheers to a fairly decent weekend!